


To be.

by Sinnamon_Lord



Category: Jacksepticeye (Youtube), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Brainwashing, Broken Mind, Broken Senses, Existential Crisis, Gen, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, Kidnapping, Losing Mind, Manipulation, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Out of Body Experiences, Trapped, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 13:15:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14770308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinnamon_Lord/pseuds/Sinnamon_Lord
Summary: "So, there is nobody here?"





	To be.

**Author's Note:**

> Started writing at 3 am.  
> When I didn't yet exist.

~~[Marvin's POV]~~

* * *

 

 

*** * ***

**\--- Day X ---**

 

Trembling hands.

Not from the low temperature. Not from caffeine overdose. Not from excitement.

Just fear and disorientation pumping blood into my veins.

Where? When? Why?

Ready to strike. Ready to escape. Ready to face my fears.

 

* * *

**\--- Day XX ---**

 

Dry mouth.

I don’t really need water to survive, but it's for sure unexpected change, quite frankly - not a welcome one.

Why did _He_ put me here? What was _His_ plan? Why me?

Does it matter? Not really, _He_ always was fucked up in the way hardly anyone could predict _His_ next move.

Why won't my magic work?

 

***

**\--- Day XXX ---**

 

My eyes have been closed for a whole eternity now.

Even if I open my eyes I only uselessly rub off my lids against the rough fabric and see the same black void I meet when I close them. So why bother.

How long is _He_ going to keep me here?

I start to feel my wrist burning, bending under the gravity as cold metal cuffs slowly bite into them, as they hang above my head uselessly, nearly folded into a sign of a believer.

I was never a religious person. The only one I allowed myself to put trust into was myself, but I guess people can’t live without disappointment, without being betrayed, even if it means betrayal by their own body.

 

***

**\--- Day XXXX ---**

 

Bones start to crack.

I can feel them cracking and breaking every hour, every day, every **move.**

It’s overwhelming pain that sends an army of impulses through my body to ravage and annihilate.

My skull is cracking.

It feels like million little ants crawl out of it, making the hole bigger. When was the last time I raised my head? Why bother. There is no one to look at, nothing to look for.

I can't feel my fingers. My knees gave up an hour ago.

 

***

**\--- Day XXXXX ---**

 

I think I'm deaf.

I haven't been able to hear a single thing since I remember. How does _His_ voice sound like? How does my voice sound like?

Am I mute?

I try to move my lips, but I remember a huge cobra is sitting in my mouth waiting for even slight movement to strike, to sink its venomous fangs into my tongue.

I don't want to try. Why bother. There is no one to talk to.

 

***

**\--- Day XXXXXX ---**

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_?_

 

***

**\--- Day ??? ---**

 

 **“Are you here?”** The voice asks.

Am I where?

 **“Do you exist here?”** The voice asks once more.

It was a while since I said something, wasn't it? I try to force my mouth, forget about the cobra.

 **“Do you, Marvin?”** The same voice with another question.

 ~~Marvin.~~ No, I was here the whole time, there is nobody here.

 **“Answer me.”** The voice seems to be getting irritated.

 **“… T-the-ere.”** My throat hurts, what happened, did I catch a cold? I try again. **"...n-nobody… nobo...dy.. here."**

 **“Hmph,”** The voice seems satisfied. But he can see, right? Why is he asking a blind man if there is anybody in the room if he can see it himself? **“So, there is nobody here?”**

There is silence and once again the voice speaks up.

**“Then where is Marvin?”**

Again this name. ~~Marvin.~~ How would I…

Wait.

I know.

I know where he is.

 **“H-he… he's…”** My lips tremble still afraid of the cobra sitting in my mouth. **“…u-upstairs.”** I finish and suddenly I feel the heavy handcuffs break loose above my head, and my hands falling lifelessly. Are these mine?

I feel the ants coming back inside my skull through the hole they’ve made, like tired men returning home after long day of work.

I feel electric warmth sliding against my crooked back and under my broken knees. Are these mine too?

I know better than to ask _Him_ those questions.

The voice lifts my corpse and walks towards the light, that's getting through the cloth tied on my eyes.

**“Then let me take you upstairs. Let me take you to Marvin. Let’s meet you upstairs, where you exist.”**

And my broken knees are no longer broken, hole in my head is healed and the cobra escaped out of my mouth.

**“T-thank y-you… Anti.”**

 

Now I’m able to finally **_be._**

 

**Author's Note:**

> Finished at 7 pm.  
> When I exist.


End file.
